Vientiane

We are about to venture deep into the jungle (by minibus, because this is the 21st century) so thought we would update the blog before we left.

Luang Prabang was a very nice place. We spent a lot of time interacting with the locals.



We got up before dawn and ventured into town to watch the monks take their alms, which is a daily procession where locals line up to donate rice and vegetables to lines of monks.




As this photo shows, time has stood still in Laos since the revolution. Hot tip – as Laos develops it will be in dire need of paint. Buy shares in paint manufacturers or start one yourself and enter into supply contracts with the Laotian government.


These shots are from our hotel. We had a cooking class a couple of days ago where we learned to make authentic spring rolls, yellow curry and lapp pork.





We then did a handicraft tour and visited the field centre for the local UXO (unexploded ordinance) office. Laos is littered with hundreds of thousands of unexploded bombs from the Vietnam war. They are still being discovered daily so the UXO organisation (two major sponsors are the Australian Government and a US mercenary firm) educates locals and removes or detonates bombs as they are found. Sadly for many Laotians the bombs explode during ploughing or hunting. There is also a very lucrative scrap metal trade, so children are encouraged to search for bomb casings. This has resulted in many locals sustaining horrific injuries, including loss of limbs, sight or worse.



This is one for the work colleagues – Matt at 5:15pm on a weekday. There is a bag of chocolate just out of camera.



We have spent the last 24 hours or so in Vientiane, the capital of Laos. It is a very laid-back place. The cops stationed just outside the UN compound were asleep in hammocks at 12pm, for example. Lots of single middle-aged men (unkempt grey nomads) hang around in the westerner corner of town. There are rows of bars and sandy cafes on the river bank – the sort where you choose your live fish from a bucket and it is then grilled for you. Or a BBQ toad or snail. We spent the afternoon drinking wine coolers on the banks of the Mekong while we waited for our bags to arrive.



There is even a local AFL team.



These shots are of the “vertical runway”. In 1962 the USA donated a load of concrete to Laos for the purpose of building a new runway. Instead, the locals used it to build a monument in the style of the Arc de Triomph. It is now a monument to Laotians killed by Americans. The internal spaces are filled with souvenir shops.



Matt now has a man bag and is going out of his way to look like a hippy tourist. Dreadlocks are unfortunately no longer an option, but he otherwise looks the part.



Penny’s new hobby is stalking monks and taking photos of them doing interesting things, like buying fake Buddha statues from souvenir shops or visiting internet cafes.



We are now off to a homestay in the mountains so we will be out of range for a few days, and should resurface in Vietnam soon (subject to the convenience of the very large local mosquito population).

Interim Crisis

We are in the middle of Laos. We took a flight from Luang Prabang to Viantienne, the capital. They left the whole group's luggage in Luang Prabang.

We are sweltering in dirty clothes on the side of the Mekong. It is awesome.

Week One - Into Northern Laos

We are in deepest, darkest northern Lao. The government is firmly communist, there is a midnight curfew that applies to all persons, you cannot sleep with a local unless you marry them, the Lao Peoples Revolutionary Youth League is up the road, and street commerce is alive and well. But getting here took some time so the journey needs some explanation.

As we discovered, the beauty of Thailand is that if someone told you what you would see or do in three hours time, you would never believe them. They take their temples seriously, and each new King or “Rama” has a new temple built in his honour at the major Bangkok palace. The temples are intricate affairs, which also offer some insight into how local regimes work and have worked in the past. In recent centuries, the Thai kingdom exported food and gold to China, which in return gave porcelain. The porcelain tended to break in transit, so the temples are adorned by millions of tiny shards of shattered porcelain which glimmer in the sunlight. The porcelain was also very light, so the Chinese placed large blocks of stone as ballast. Not wanting to be wasteful, those ballast stones were carved into statues which adorn the palace.

After Bangkok we took a sleeper train to Chiang Mai, the main northern city of Thailand. It is really a tourist transit fight, specialising in factory-produced textiles sold at open air markets, Thai kickboxing and elephant riding.

We then took a bus North towards the only Thai-Lao border crossing, which is very close to the (closed) Burmese border. Next to the truckstop halfway up was a singularly amazing white temple (proving that you will never guess what you will see next). A young artist decided he wanted to create an attraction, so he had this monstrosity built. It glimmers because of the millions of shards of broken glass scattered along it. In the middle is a wax figure of a monk in prayer, and if you turn around there are stylised paintings of nuclear Armageddon, including F-16s, ICBMs and 9/11 images. The curry across the road was the highlight of this Dali-meets-the-orient experience.

We eventually crossed the Lao border by boat, and after accidentally bribing the visa official (Matt’s fault), we began our journey through Laos. We spent the evening wandering around town eating very reasonably priced bananas and drinking Lao beer in a riverside bar.

That night we enjoyed “Saldith”, which is a Lao hotpot. The waiter brings out a cauldron of hot coals, with a metal lid shaped like an orange juice squeezer. You rub a hunk of pig fat around the “mountain” and cook thin strips of beef or chicken on that part, while chicken stock is poured into the “moat” to cook chillies, carrot, “morning glory” (local vegetables, believe it or not) and various greens. Washed down with excessive amounts of Beer Lao and “Spy” (a sprizy wine cooler) it is quite nice indeed.

We then spent two days cruising down the Mekong in a slow boat. The Mekong would be a mighty beast in the wet season. It begins in Tibet and is fast flowing even this time of year. You can clearly make out the wet season height and width of the river (enormous) and the banks are strewn with boulders the size of small trucks and cars and huge sand banks and dunes. The villages are perched high above the river on the top of the sandy banks.

Halfway down we stopped overnight at a purpose-built guest-house village. Young boys offered to carry our bags up the steep river bank for $2 each way. Matt’s porter was smaller than his bag.

As is fitting, we dined on Fish Marsala at an Indian restaurant (rebuilt on the other side of the road after the earlier version washed away in a recent flood) and played with the locals.

So far Luang Prabang (a UNESCO listed town) has been busy. Lots of “jumbo” (tuk – tuk) rides around town. We went for a 3 hour hike through the jungle on Tuesday morning to a large waterfall, had one-hour massages for $8 and Matt had a buffalo burger with cheese, fries and the obligatory Beer Lao for dinner. There is a bear sanctuary run by Australians at the foot of the waterfall for young bears orphaned by the bear bile trade.

So, one week down, still married, no diarrhoea yet, but that is probably thanks to the constipation.

Honeymoon Day 1

In a mad rush we almost did everything that we needed to before going. Getting married was step one, and we thought we would post a few choice photos.

We then packed our bags. Armed with all the vital travel necessities such as an eight-pack of cafe latte sachets, several bags of chocolates and every conceivable type of travel medication, we set off late last night. Penny is carrying about 10kg, Matt has 23kg, so that is fair.

See if you can spot the stuffed cat. This trip will be bringing tacky back.

We are alive and in Bangkok. It’s pretty warm. It’s the usual story of South East Asia – scammers at the airport (who Matt was too friendly to), highspeed taxi with no seatbelts bolting through bustling and smog-filled causeways.

We spent the morning searching for food. We are surrounded by alleyways with every conceivable consumer good. One shop will sell air compressors, the next hello kitty plush toys, the next satay sticks. Most of the shoppers are locals.

The overwhelming smells are Chinese five-spice, motor exhaust, incense and charcoal grills cooking food. Everyone is very industrious.Thailand is unfortunately a focal point for the sex trade. The hotel even has a written policy about bringing unrelated children into your rooms (don’t do it). The names of local shops are also interesting.

We have met two of the other 10 people sharing our tour. They are Americans. Penny has not stopped saying “Oh my gaaaawd” for 20 minutes, and Matt is trying to convince her what nice people they are likely to be having travelled so far. Penny is a little hot, sweaty and narky at the moment so it may take some time to sway her.
And we get twin beds!!!

The Beginning

This will be the travel blog for the Penny and Matt World Tour. Please check regularly for updates.